Thursday, April 15, 2010

Epic Failures (Real Life again)

Last night, I was supposed to go on a date. The details were vague, and exchanged over the internet. But, I wasn’t nervous or anything, because my mother knew the guy in question. The convo went something to this effect:

Mom: Oh my god Daniel (yes, she really says OMG). There was this cutest guy in the office yesterday talking to my boss. I wanted to try and find a way for you to be down here so I could introduce you, but you were working, and I didn’t want to call you.
Me: Oh—That’s cool. What’s his name?

Mom: Well, I’m not exactly sure that he’s actually gay. But I think he is. I know So-and-So was talking about him being on this website.
Me: Website? You mean
So, I go to the internet, and I pull it up and search for him. Sure enough. There he is. 30 something, living a short thirty miles away. So, I send him a message.
We message/email back on connexions for a couple of weeks, not really setting anything up—or actually having a convo other than me gushing “My mom thinks you’re really cute and that we should go out on a date” (I know, freaking pathetic right? Don’t judge me, I live in a very small town, and it’s been a long time!)
So anyhow, last week I get this message from him which says the following:

Hay. Hey.

seems like evry week is crazy. looks like i'll be in montrose wednesday next week - maybe catch up after 6:00?

Ok, so he’s no Shakespeare, and to be frank, normally if I would have gotten a comment like that I would have been like, “Way too f’ing vague for me… no thanks.” Because, it’s true. I’m a bit of a plan-a-holic. But, let’s face it. I really want to go out on a date. I haven’t had any lip on lip action with another guy for… well that’s not the point. So I reply:

Yeah, that should work for me...I'm usually done by four. I do meet with a writers group either Tuesday or Wednesday, but I can make it work. I'll put you in the BB calendar for Wed. @ 6.
So I tapped him into my Blackberry: “Subject: Meet with So-and-So, Location: ? Time: 6:00PM.” So, Wednesday rolls around, and I realize: I have no details whatsoever of what will happen on Wednesday. And I like details. I like schedules, and planners and time keepers (even though I’m usually 10 minutes late to work…).
So, I get on connexions, and I write this:

Hi So-and-So,
Was just going through my planner and I had you down for sometime after 6--is that still right? Just let me know so I can arrange my puppy schedule and such. Hope you had nice week.


And I get this reply:
hey daniel - after 6 today is the plan. call me to set up later - i'll be away from email all day. 970 555-5555.

So, I’m like awesome… He’s planning on it! He said to… call… later… what the? When is “later?” says my overly analytical mind. “After six?” What the hell does that mean? Like, five minutes after six? Fifteen minutes? Seriously, I don’t understand vague talk. So, I go through my day, and I have my writers group (which was awesome—did it outside and got a lot done with my friend). And I get my outfit planned out (actually, I had somehow pulled together a cute outfit for work, so I just freshened up). And 5:50 approaches. I realize, I don’t know what he means by “call me to set up later,” so I’m like—well, it’s techinically later. So I call—it goes straight to voicemail:

“Hey So-and So, it’s Daniel. It’s 6:00, which means it’s really 5:50 because all of my clocks are set ten minutes ahead… anyway, I realized we didn’t really have any plans, and I’m going to do somethings around the house, so I will probably lose track… so call me when you’re ready. 970.555.5144.” And I hang up.
So, I go about doing other things, playing with the puppies, brush my teeth, play some WoW. And I check the time. Shit. 6:05. Crap. So I go about doing some other things. 6:15. Still nothing. So I send a text message:

“Can’t remember if I left my phone number. Lol: 970.555.5144.”
And I go about doing some other things. It’s okay right? I mean, it’s only 6:45, andI haven’t heard anything… So I call my mom: “haven’t heard anything, I think I’ve been ditched.” I set my facebook status to say: “Will be opening the table for bets that his “date” cancels… $5.00 anyone?” to which I get several replies…
I’ve pretty much given up when the phone rings at 7:25.
“Hey Daniel. My phone died, sorry, I’m at the Verizon store and they let me charge it. Where are you?”
“Oh, I’m at my house…”
“Cool, where is that I’ll be right over.”
“oh… well um, I wasn’t really planning on meeting you here, my house isn’t really presentable” (but if you would have let me know earlier that you wanted to meet here I could have been cleaning it this past hour… jerk…) “But we could do dinner or something.”
“Well, I don’t know. It’s been a long day. I’ve been in a meeting since 6:30. But I’m coming back Saturday.”
“Oh, well that’s cool.”
“Yeah, let’s reschedule for Saturday. I wouldn’t be good company anyway.”
Ok. So, looking back on it, it really isn’t that bad. I mean, at least he called… even though it was an hour and half late. And his excuse was viable—I mean cell phones die a lot. And Saturday is cool… but I look so cute… and I rearranged my day to be sure to be free… and I looked cute…
To Be Continued.

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